Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.