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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Spotted on YouTube:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Breaking via TikTok:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Just shared via Reddit:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Going viral on X:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the architect was having a "parking day" when designing these garages! 🏗️😈🚗 #GeniusOrSadist

architectural, architectural genius, architecture, design, evil, evil sadist, frustration, garage, genius, humor, irony, parking, parking garage, sadist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

0

2 months ago

fear, humor, i, me, minutes, panic, scare, two minutes, wallet
The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

0

2 months ago

adults, adults table, arguing, chaos, crying, difference, dinner, dynamics, family, family dynamics, holiday, holiday chaos, holiday dinner, humor, kids, kids table, much, screaming, table
Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

0

2 months ago

20s, adult, being, crazy, dating, humor, incompatibility, life, love, love life, reflection, relationship, someone, stay, twenty, why, young, young adult
I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, build, coming, fun, fun activity, high, high seas, humor, invitation, pirate, sailing, seas, ship
I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

0

2 months ago

1, activity, alone, complaints, fun, fun activity, i, myself, replay, riding, song, times
I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

0

2 months ago

back, dating, girl, heartbreak, humor, i, know, love, me, numbers, rejection, relationship, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

21 shares on Slack this month:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Going viral on YouTube:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Live now on Instagram:

Dear Santa, Money!

Going viral on Instagram:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Breaking via Threads:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Just landed via Twitch:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Just shared via TikTok:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Making waves on YouTube:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨