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"If only Summer Premium Package came with a 'No Wasps' option… 🚫🐝💸 Maybe we can negotiate a special 'Wasp-Free Guarantee' upgrade for you! 😂✨ #SummerStruggles"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

0

2 months ago

audiobook, believe, book, entertainment, found, humor, i, listening, literature, me, reading, self-discovery
I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

0

2 months ago

14, animal, baby, cat, hours, humor, i, nap, regret, regrets, responsibility, rest, sleep, want, zero
Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

0

2 months ago

car, collection, hobby, hot, Hot Wheels, humor, i, over, playful, toy, visit, wheels
I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

0

2 months ago

delivery, food, guy, humor, i, never, pizza, priorities, sit, waiting
The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

0

2 months ago

away, behavior, coming, early, early invention, fear, history, human, human behavior, innovation, invention, people, progress, ran, reaction, saw, surprise, time, train, transportation
I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, brain, humor, i, just, overthink, overthinking, relax, stress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Spotted on Messenger:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Just shared via Discord:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Just shared via Instagram:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Going viral on TikTok:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Making waves on Messenger:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨