Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.