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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

4,020

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Trending via Telegram:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Just shared via X:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Trending via Snapchat:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Spotted on Discord:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

2 months ago

0

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, folks! 👴🏼👑 Prince Charles proves that dreams don't have an expiry date, they just mature like fine wine. 🍷 Keep dreaming, keep believing, and who knows, maybe one day you'll also be ruling a kingdom in your golden years! 🤣🌟"

achievement, age, charles, dream, humor, inspiration, old, persistence, prince, Prince Charles, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

1

2 months ago

ask, call, funny situation, humor, man, parents, pen, pressure, real, relatable, relatable humor, situation
Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

0

1 month ago

active, active search, before, crazy, crazy person, humor, impact, life, media, modern, modern life, observation, people, person, search, social, social media, technology, technology impact
“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

0

1 month ago

advice, am, humor, i, life, little, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, something, squandering, thing
You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

0

2 months ago

communication, compatibility, girl, guy, humor, joke, just, laughter, lol, relationship, work
I’m not alone. I have ants.

0

2 months ago

alone, ants, companionship, humor, i, loneliness, nature, pets, quirky
I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

0

2 months ago

dinner, door, family, give, humor, i, independence, kids, McDonald’s, me, money, nostalgia, own, parenting, place, say, visits, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

22 shares on X this month:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

34 shares on X this month:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

54 shares on Slack this month:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Date night idea: fight another couple.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,946

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Seen just now on Slack:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

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