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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Going viral on Messenger:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Trending via Threads:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Just landed via Discord:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Trending via TikTok:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Just landed via Twitch:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Shared recently on Discord:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

1 week ago

Witty quote about patience and dreams, featuring Prince Charles' long wait for success.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, folks! 👴🏼👑 Prince Charles proves that dreams don't have an expiry date, they just mature like fine wine. 🍷 Keep dreaming, keep believing, and who knows, maybe one day you'll also be ruling a kingdom in your golden years! 🤣🌟"

achievement, age, charles, dream, humor, inspiration, old, persistence, prince, Prince Charles, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on X this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

90 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Just landed via YouTube:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Shared recently on Slack:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Going viral on Telegram:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Just shared via Facebook:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Just shared via TikTok:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Just landed via YouTube:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Making waves on WeChat:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

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