Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Making waves on YouTube:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Spotted on Slack:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Just landed via Telegram:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about mustaches revealing true character, humorously highlighting performative facial hair.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old conundrum of the deceptive ‘stache! 🧐 It’s like a tiny, wiggly curtain trying to hide the true face behind it. 🎭 Beware the mustache charlatans, for their upper lip abode may not be what it seems! 🕵️‍♂️👨"

always, appearance, humor, identity, masculinity, mustache, performative, representative, spirit, tell, true

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

31 shares on Threads this month:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

56 shares on Threads this month:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I am thick and tired.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Breaking via Messenger:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Just shared via X:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Spotted on Facebook:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Spotted on Twitch:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴