Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet irony of being 'so productive for your wage' – who knew multitasking could come with complimentary eye rolls and sighs? 💼💸😜"

efficiency, humor, productive, productivity, sarcasm, wage, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

0

2 months ago

app, challenge, dating, difficulty, humor, level, love, online, online dating, option, relationship, search, searching, settings, turn
Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

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2 weeks ago

equipment, humor, none, podcast, praying, unwrapping
Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

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2 months ago

aging, biological, biological clock, biology, clock, egg, egg timer, humor, joke, metaphor, timer
My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

0

2 months ago

activity, aspiration, beat, buy, competition, dream, fun, horse, humor, me, race, still
I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

0

2 months ago

along, encounter, hope, hoping, humor, i, isolation, journey, know, less, road, run, social, travel
Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

0

2 months ago

bright, communication, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, irony, light, people, perception, sound, talk, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

88 shares on Slack this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Freshly posted on X:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Just landed via Reddit:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Going viral on Messenger:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Spotted on X:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Just landed via WeChat:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Seen just now on Slack:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re so productive for your wage.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨