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His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

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If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

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Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

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Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

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That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

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When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

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Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

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God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

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Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

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America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.