New funny exercise jokes

• They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

• I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

• Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

• Scrolling should count as cardio.

• Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

• Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

• Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

• I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

• Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

• Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Top funny exercise jokes

• My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

• I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

• When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

• My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

• I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

• Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

• Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

• I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

• Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

• How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Popular funny exercise jokes

• I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

• About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

• Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

• The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

• You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

• Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

• Eat like your treadmill is watching.

• I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

• I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

• A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

More funny exercise jokes

• Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

• I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

• Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

• I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

• Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

• I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

• Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

• Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

• It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

• Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Witty exercise jokes

• If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

• No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

• I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

• Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

• How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

• My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

• Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

• You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

• If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

• I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.