If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

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My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

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Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

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Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

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When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

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If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.