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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

29 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Making waves on Threads:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Going viral on WeChat:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Going viral on Instagram:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Making waves on Threads:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

6 months ago

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the Christmas tree – the eternal symbol of holiday cheer and existential crisis all rolled into one! 🎄✨ Just remember, even if you're feeling a bit like a withered old pine inside, you can always put on a dazzling light show for the world to see. Shine on, you festive gem! 💫"

Christmas, Christmas tree, dead, holiday, humor, identify, identity, inside, irony, lit, outside, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

29 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Freshly posted on X:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Just shared via Telegram:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Just landed via YouTube:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Shared recently on YouTube:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Spotted on Instagram:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

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