Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.