Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

520 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,113

Funny Quotes Topics

17,264

Funny Quotes Images

15,113

Dec 25, 2025

3,981

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Trending via Discord:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Going viral on Messenger:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Spotted on WeChat:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Going viral on Slack:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

2 months ago

0

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "long story short" – the ultimate signal that you're already in for a narrative marathon! 🏃‍♂️💨 It's like putting a speed bump after driving through a pot-hole-ridden road. 🚗😂 Just embrace the inevitable tale-telling adventure and settle in for the long haul! 🎢✨

communication, conversation, humor, irony, late, short, someone, story, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

0

1 month ago

aspiration, band, dream, humor, i, let, me, Metallica, music, musician, rock, want
“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

0

2 months ago

adventure, course, day, full, full moon, going, half, humor, i, ID, logic, love, moon, point, space, trip
If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

0

2 months ago

car, cream, fun, humor, ice, ice cream, impress, me, novelty, should, van, vehicle, want
Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

0

1 month ago

humor, love, me, relationship, romantic, romantic humor, sarcasm, well
Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

0

2 months ago

books, card, differently, humor, i, library, library card, moving, moving differently, reading, self-improvement
The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

0

5 months ago

ability, adjustment, communication, lack, life, life skill, people, skill, social, social skill, speaking, vocabulary

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

56 shares on X this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

520 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,113

Funny Quotes Topics

17,264

Funny Quotes Images

15,113

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Live now on Messenger:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Seen just now on Messenger:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Spotted on Facebook:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Seen just now on Threads:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Spreading quickly via X:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

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