A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.