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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Spotted on WeChat:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Breaking via Messenger:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Going viral on Messenger:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Witty text about the importance of pie crust, humorously comparing missing pastry to soup with a hat.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old debate between pie purists and pie rebels! 🥧🍲 Who knew that pastry could be so essential in defining a true pie? Just remember, a soup in a hat is still a soup with a sense of fashion! 🎩😄"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Math is like Chinese to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Spotted on Slack:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Spotted on Slack:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Going viral on Slack:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Breaking via X:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Just landed via Threads:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Making waves on Messenger:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Going viral on Reddit:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Going viral on Messenger:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

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