Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Going viral on YouTube:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Live now on WeChat:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Spotted on TikTok:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Breaking via Slack:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Trending via Slack:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

2 months ago

0

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'rebooting the face' process! Just like a computer needing a restart after a major glitch 😂💄💁‍♀️. Who knew mastering the art of perfecting a resting b***h face could be so time-consuming? 😏⏰ #BeautyStruggles"

face, fix, humor, i, irritation, me, patience, self-care, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, back, clock, concert, fun, music, nostalgia, time, time travel, too, travel, turned, Wham
It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

0

2 months ago

anything, better, everything, humor, irony, know, know-it-all, shame
Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

0

4 months ago

barking, comment, comments, girl, girls, i, interaction, man, media, playful, relationship, social, social media, stuff, want, weird
A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

0

2 months ago

bible, bit, Boots, died, end, fish, humor, i, irony, Jesus, man, me, outside, religion, sins, spoiler, thanks, told, witty
This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

0

2 months ago

humor, kidney, kidney stone, lesson, life, life lesson, optimism, pass, patience, perseverance, stone, struggle, this too shall pass, too, wisdom
Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bring, fun, fun activity, give, i, kid, nostalgia, parenting, payphone, petition, phone, place, places, public, public place, quarter, technology, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

16 shares on Threads this month:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Just landed via Instagram:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Making waves on Messenger:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Going viral on Instagram:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

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