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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Just landed via Telegram:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Just shared via Reddit:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Making waves on Twitch:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Spotted on X:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Just shared via Discord:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

2 months ago

0

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'rebooting the face' process! Just like a computer needing a restart after a major glitch 😂💄💁‍♀️. Who knew mastering the art of perfecting a resting b***h face could be so time-consuming? 😏⏰ #BeautyStruggles"

face, fix, humor, i, irritation, me, patience, self-care, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

0

3 weeks ago

16, again, button, buttons, emotional, emotional trigger, family, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, just, lose, nostalgia, old, parent, parents, push, shit, teenager, trigger, visit
Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

0

2 months ago

comedy, diet, food, grains, humor, vegan, zombie
What a strange day. And it has been for years.

0

2 months ago

day, humor, irony, life, observation, reflection, strange, strange day, time, year’s
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

0

3 weeks ago

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay
Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

0

5 months ago

attitude, confidence, humor, imagination, imagine, irony, knowledge, sarcasm, thinking
Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

0

2 months ago

anything, ever, frustration, hot, humor, i, irony, lawsuits, me, misunderstanding, rage, revelation, show, Suits, television, wear, white

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

22 shares on X this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Live now on TikTok:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Making waves on Telegram:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Making waves on WeChat:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

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