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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

48 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Making waves on Threads:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Spotted on Messenger:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Making waves on Slack:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Spotted on Slack:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

6 months ago

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

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Commentary:
"Looks like the secret to job security is intentionally terrible writing! 🤖💻 Embrace the typos, jumbled sentences, and nonsensical ramblings – your livelihood might just depend on it! Who knew that a mess of words could be your ticket to career longevity? 😂 #BadWritingChampion"

AI, bad, bad writing, bit, doing, employment, humor, irony, job, job security, save, security, should, technology, training, want, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

48 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Seen just now on X:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Trending via Messenger:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Just shared via Slack:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Broadcasted on Threads:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Spotted on Twitch:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

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