Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.
  • Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.
  • I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.
  • The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.
  • If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.
  • Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?