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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Making waves on Threads:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Trending via YouTube:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Trending via Messenger:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Trending via Slack:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

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All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between the desire to sleep all day and the sudden burst of energy that hits you at bedtime 🌙💤 It's like your brain waits until the lights are off to start planning tomorrow's adventures! 🤔😆 #SleepStruggles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

76 shares on X this month:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

10 shares on X this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Spotted on YouTube:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Spreading quickly via X:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Making waves on X:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Making waves on Instagram:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Going bananas on X:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

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