All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.