Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Live now on Facebook:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Going viral on Reddit:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Spotted on Slack:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Just shared via Slack:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Spotted on Facebook:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Going bananas on WeChat:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about Gatsby-themed parties implying they skipped reading the book.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Throwing a Great Gatsby themed party without finishing the book is like hosting a Harry Potter night without knowing who Voldemort is 😆📚 It's all glitz and glam until someone realizes they missed the memo on Gatsby's tragic demise! 🎉 #PartyFail"

anytime, assumption, book, event, finished, Gatsby, great, humor, i, literary, never, party, social, social event, someone, theme

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

22 shares on Threads this month:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Body by sandwich.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Shared recently on X:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Breaking via TikTok:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Trending via Slack:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Just landed via Telegram:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Trending via Facebook:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Live now on X:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Spotted on Facebook:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

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