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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Just shared via Reddit:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Trending via Instagram:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Going viral on WeChat:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Live now on Instagram:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Trending via Instagram:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

2 months ago

0

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like time travel runs in the family! 🕰️✨ Maybe they passed down a secret Time-Turner or a DeLorean is hiding in the garage. 🚗 Who needs a TARDIS when you have a multi-generational time-travel lineage! 🔮👴👦 #TimeTravelGenes"

before, child, desire, family, generation, grandson, humor, i, nostalgia, time, time traveller, traveller, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

0

3 months ago

awkward, awkwardness, cry, crying, front, humor, i, insecurity, least, myself, new, self-talk, sexy, stranger, strangers, telling
When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, communication, excuse, humor, husband, just, let, marriage, me, procrastination, relationship, using, whatever, wife
Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, best, best era, childhood, era, growing, growing up, kid, opinion, unpopular, unpopular opinion, worst, worst era
Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

0

2 months ago

ask, communication, dinner, free, household, humor, lawn, lawn mower, marriage, mower, mowing, multitasking, ready, relationship, tip, while, wife
When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

0

2 months ago

attraction, dating, desire, dress, fashion, humor, nice, taking, taking off, think, thrill
Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

0

2 months ago

account, actually, bank, bank account, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, money, okay, rude, sarcasm, spend, spending

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

39 shares on X this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

21 shares on Slack this month:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You are my favorite dirty thought.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Going viral on X:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Just landed via Reddit:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Spotted on Discord:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Making waves on YouTube:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Spotted on TikTok:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

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