Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Making waves on YouTube:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Live now on Twitch:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Just shared via Threads:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Live now on WeChat:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

2 months ago

0

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like someone's really trying to push the limits of the naughty list this year 🎅📸 Who knew Santa was into more than just milk and cookies? 🍪😏 Hope you've been good this year, or else those nudes might end up on the Christmas card! 🎄🎅🚫 #SantaSaysNoToNudes

absurdity, asking, Christmas, holiday, humor, joke, nudes, request, Santa

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

0

2 months ago

arguing, communication, humor, just, people, sarcasm, say, sense, think
Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, every, humor, i, irony, life, life struggle, morning, negativity, single, struggle, woke, woke up
The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

0

5 months ago

aging, coffee, humor, i, introversion, love, me, morning, older, routine, solitude, speaking
I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

0

1 month ago

choices, food, fridge, heart, humor, hunger, i, journey, love, me
When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

0

4 months ago

again, attitude, breakup, communication, conversation, going, gratitude, humor, i, interaction, me, never, relationship, response, right, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, talk, thank, thing
My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, favorite, favorite part, going, home, house, humor, irony, leaving, looking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on X this month:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

10 shares on Threads this month:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,592

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Seen just now on Discord:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Making waves on Facebook:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Introverts have fun too, we just don’t care if you know…

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Trending via Pinterest:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴