Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Going viral on Messenger:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Spotted on WeChat:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Rise and shine, it's a dumbfounded weather forecast today! ☁️☀️ Better pack your brain cells along with your sunglasses, babe! 😂"

babe, humor, morning, outside, stupid, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

2 months ago

behavior, best, forever, humor, media, observer, online, online behavior, social, social media, Twitter
I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

6 months ago

bed, bedtime, cause, going, humor, i, laziness, mischief, night, procrastination, tonight
Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

1 week ago

being, curse, dumb, game, intelligence, lie, pattern, play, playing, playing dumb, smart, still, strategy, survival, survive
Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

2 months ago

always, chore, household, humor, laundry, lurking, most, relatable, sinister, tasks, waiting
No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

2 months ago

defibrillator, expectation, failure, humor, irony, joke, medical, medical joke, shock, work
I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

3 months ago

am, bold, contradiction, explain, humor, i, paradox, personality, same, shy, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

50 shares on Threads this month:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

67 shares on Slack this month:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I only drink when I people.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Trending via TikTok:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Breaking via Discord:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Trending via TikTok:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Just landed via TikTok:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Trending via Instagram:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨