Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.
  • Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”
  • Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.
  • Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.
  • My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
  • Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.