Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.
  • Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.
  • Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.
  • I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.
  • Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.
  • All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.