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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

39 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Breaking via Snapchat:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Just shared via Slack:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Spotted on Twitch:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Live now on WhatsApp:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Just shared via Reddit:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Spotted on Reddit:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

6 months ago

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old battle between cake and utensils! 🍰🍴 It seems like the plastic fork just can't handle the sheer awesomeness of cake – it's like trying to use a feather to lift a boulder! Perhaps the cake needs to come with a warning label: "Caution: may cause plastic forks to retreat in defeat!" 😂

cake, dessert, eat, enjoyment, food, fork, harder, humor, much, plastic, plastic fork

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

39 minutes ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Reported on Discord:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Breaking via Discord:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

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