Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Making waves on Pinterest:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Making waves on YouTube:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Breaking via Messenger:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sane is boring.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Making waves on TikTok:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew being tough could be so crumbly and dry? 🍪😅 Maybe we should stick to calling people 'soft cookies' instead! 😉 #ToughLove"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on YouTube this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

68 shares on X this month:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Milk or be milked.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Just landed via Messenger:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Just landed via Discord:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Live now on Pinterest:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Just shared via Slack:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Breaking via Slack:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Breaking via TikTok:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴