Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.
  • I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.
  • Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.
  • Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.
  • Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!
  • You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.