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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Just landed via Threads:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Shared recently on Discord:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Trending via Messenger:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Going viral on Reddit:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

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“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, 'date' – the ultimate test of your sanity and coping skills 🤦‍♂️ Who knew staying home could be the better option? 🏠 #Regrets"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

79 shares on Messenger this month:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Shared recently on Facebook:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Just landed via WeChat:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Going viral on Telegram:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Just landed via Reddit:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Freshly posted on X:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

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