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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Spotted on Telegram:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Just landed via Reddit:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Making waves on Twitch:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

Live now on Instagram:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Trending via Slack:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about math, humorously expressing personal priorities over solving problems.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dear Math, we need to talk. I have my own issues to deal with, like trying to remember where I parked my car and figuring out why I still haven't won the lottery 🚗💸. So let's just agree to solve our own problems, shall we? 😉"

frustration, humor, i, life, math, own, personal, personal problems, problem, problems, sarcasm, solve, student, student life, want, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on X this month:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

77 shares on Discord this month:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Seen just now on Twitch:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Going bananas on Threads:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Trending via Messenger:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t study, get slutty!

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