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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Just landed via Slack:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Seen just now on Slack:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

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Diabetes was the God of sugar.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if diabetes is the God of sugar, then I guess we mere mortals should consider cutting back on our sweet offerings to avoid invoking its wrath! ⚡🍬 Remember, everything in moderation, even when dealing with divine sweet-toothed deities! 🍰🙏

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Shared recently on Threads:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Shared recently on Threads:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Trending via Facebook:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Just landed via Threads:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Going bananas on WeChat:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

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