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Commentary:
"Looks like they're really pushing for a 'movement' this week! 🏃‍♂️💩 Just remember, in the battle against diarrhea, it's all about endurance… and plenty of bathroom breaks! 🚽😆 #StayRegular"

awareness, diarrhea, health, humor, joke, runs, Sunday, today, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

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2 months ago

animal, animal friend, Cinderella, fairy, fairy tale, friend, friends, happy, happy life, i, independence, life, makeup, man, relationship, shoe, should, tale, think, try
My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

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2 months ago

battery, charged, excitement, exciting, guess, humor, i, nightlife, phone, sleeping, technology
When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

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2 months ago

alcohol, childhood, cocktail, drunk, humor, i, kid, misunderstanding, shrimp, thought, weird
Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, enough, excuse, hang, humor, i, know, socializing, sorry, vocabulary, words
“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

0

2 months ago

autism, exist, guy, guys, hardware, hardware store, humor, met, misunderstanding, old, old guy, perception, store, stores, work
My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

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5 months ago

hack, humor, husband, lose, matching, matching pair, me, packing, pair, reader, rolling, sock, sock trick, together, told, travel, travel hack, trick, trip, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

45 shares on Discord this month:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

30 shares on Discord this month:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

18 shares on Slack this month:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

86 shares on Discord this month:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Going viral on Discord:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Live now on Discord:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Spotted on Discord:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Live now on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨