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Commentary:
🤔 "Ah, the ancient art of telepathy! Let me check my spam folder for your message… 🧐 Oh no, it must have gotten lost among all the mental junk mail! 😂 Next time, try sending a carrier pigeon just to be safe! 🐦💌"

communication, earlier, humor, i, joke, message, mind, mind reading, reading, telepathy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

0

2 months ago

clueless, confusion, going, happening, humor, humor quote, i, idea, ignorance, irony, know, sarcasm
Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

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2 months ago

buy, every, experience, hope, humor, i, irony, optimism, over, shopping, time, triumph, vegetable
I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

0

3 months ago

change, changes, control, electronics, everything, humor, i, joke, just, pun, remote, remote control, technology, universal, universal remote
The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

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2 months ago

college, dog, education, frankfurt, Frankfurt School, hot, hot dog, humor, major, school
The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side
Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

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2 months ago

candy, eat, food, guilt, heart, humor, i, much, stomach, today, too, too much, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

99 shares on X this month:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

89 shares on X this month:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

99 shares on X this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Trending via Facebook:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Live now on Pinterest:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Just landed via Discord:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Shared recently on Threads:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

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Activity Log ✨

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨