Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

44 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.