Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.