Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

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If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

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I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

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He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

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Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

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Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

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God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.