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Commentary:
"Drugs don’t ruin lives, they say. It's the drug tests that really bring out the stress and anxiety 🚫🧪 Who knew a little cup could hold so much power over our fate? 😅 #DrugTestingDrama"

addiction, consequences, drug, drug tests, drugs, humor, irony, lif, ruin, society, tests

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

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2 months ago

aroma, beans, breath, coffee, contradiction, good, humor, smell, taste
Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

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1 month ago

1868, dead, dead horse, going, hell, historical, horse, humor, imagine, outside, situationship
Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

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2 months ago

better, big, Big Mac sauce, bread, cheese, cooking, food, humor, joke, mac, meal, meat, salad, sauce, taste
My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

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2 months ago

am, apparently, back, cat, dissatisfaction, fancy, food, household, humor, i, irony, job, luxury, matter, new, owner, pet, reason, rent, shopping, store, unhappy
I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

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2 months ago

brag, celebrity, creation, dream, God, humor, i, making, pascal, pedro, Pedro Pascal, saw
My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

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2 months ago

accident, accidentally, again, burger, car, driving, food, hate, humor, i, shop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Social media is mental suicide.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

29 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Making waves on X:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Spotted on Messenger:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Live now on Telegram:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Just shared via Instagram:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨