Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Trending via Discord:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Going viral on Instagram:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Trending via Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Just shared via Discord:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Going viral on Discord:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, if your self-esteem is feeling a bit lukewarm, just remember – even Hotmail can't keep up with your inbox of charm and wit!"

comparison, confidence, Hotmail, hotter, humor, internet, irony, me, personality, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

2 months ago

blueprint, cringe, culture, evolution, humor, meme, meme culture, slang, social, social evolution, transformation
Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

6 months ago

academics, failure, falling, heartbreak, humor, life, school, student, student life, worse
I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

2 months ago

adventure, belief, believe, Bigfoot, excited, excitement, humor, i, skepticism, too
I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

2 months ago

activity, autograph, best, bible, every, fun, fun activity, hotel, humor, i, JC, prank, religion, wishes
They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

2 weeks ago

Christmas, deadline, excuse, game, gift, gifts, holiday, hours, humor, Japan, late, list, locked, nice, nice list, procrastination, Santa, say, still, want, whatever
The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

2 months ago

awkward, camera, guy, humor, know, mistake, shut, shutter, situation, stall

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

32 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

45 shares on Twitch this month:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Seen just now on Slack:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Just landed via Facebook:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Just shared via Instagram:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Freshly posted on Threads:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Spotted on Reddit:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Just shared via YouTube:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨