Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Going viral on Messenger:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Live now on LinkedIn:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Breaking via Instagram:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who knew geometry could be so romantic? 💞 When it comes to triangles, love is always acute angle! 😂💖"

affection, every, geometry, humor, joke, love, pun, relationship, triangle

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

54 shares on Instagram this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

47 shares on X this month:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Just landed via Facebook:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Spotted on Messenger:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Making waves on X:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Making waves on Instagram:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

I’m sick of living through history!

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

I’m sick of living through history!

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨