Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.
  • I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.
  • I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.
  • The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.
  • Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.
  • German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.