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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Just shared via Discord:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Just shared via Instagram:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Going viral on Telegram:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Making waves on Twitch:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

Trending via X:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Just shared via Telegram:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life tip: Watch out for those spoon-wielding gangsters in the kitchen 💁‍♂️🥄💦 One wrong move and you're in for a splashy surprise 💦😂 #KitchenGangster"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

16 shares on Slack this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

94 shares on Slack this month:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

38 shares on X this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Live now on YouTube:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Trending via Messenger:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Spotted on Threads:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

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