SALEM—In a startling new study, researchers have confirmed that the risky sport of ‘conclusion jumping’ is seeing a sharp rise in popularity, despite the obvious lack of training among participants. “Unlike pickleball, this isn’t something you just pick up on a weekend,” stated Dr. Felicia Wang. “We’ve seen far too many people injuring themselves while making snap judgments.”
The study, which scrutinizes the growing trend, found that 73% of people believe they are exceptionally good at it, even though most have had no formal practice or coaching. “It’s like everyone suddenly thinks they’re a gold medalist,” noted DeMarcus Trent, who once sprained an ankle while misjudging a friend’s vague text message.
Experts suggest that the public should consider safer alternatives, like ‘leaping to misinterpretations’ or ‘vaulting over minor misunderstandings.’ “We need to educate people,” said Dr. Wang, “before someone gets seriously hurt. Perhaps a conclusion-jumping Olympics could give them appropriate outlets for their talents.”