Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.