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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

525 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,118

Funny Quotes Topics

17,266

Funny Quotes Images

15,118

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Trending via X:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Going viral on TikTok:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Going viral on Threads:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Trending via WhatsApp:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Making waves on Telegram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Just landed via Threads:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

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Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.
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Commentary:
🎉 TGIF! Time to take out the trash… both literally and figuratively! 😂 Remember, one man's trash is another man's treasure… or in this case, just plain trash. Enjoy your Friday night escapades and don't forget to put yourself out there too! 🗑️💃 #TGIF #TrashTalk

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

49 shares on X this month:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

525 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,118

Funny Quotes Topics

17,266

Funny Quotes Images

15,118

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,009

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hope this email kills us both.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just shared via Facebook:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Just shared via WeChat:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Making waves on WeChat:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Making waves on Threads:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Just landed via Reddit:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

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