39 Funny accident quotes

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  9 hours ago

  View →: Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.
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  11 hours ago

  View →: I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.
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  7 days ago

  View →: Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.
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  1 month ago

  View →: My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.
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  1 month ago

  View →: May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

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