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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Reported on Messenger:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Going viral on Threads:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just landed via Telegram:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Spotted on Snapchat:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Making waves on TikTok:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Seen just now on Facebook:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Going viral on Threads:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Making waves on WeChat:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Breaking via Threads:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Trending via Snapchat:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Making waves on Facebook:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Spotted on YouTube:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

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