Wordgag ツ

Jan 23, 2025
Share →: “God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Commentary:
"God has a plan for you!" 🙏 Oh really? Well, I've got a few suggestions for the big guy upstairs… ✍️ Maybe some more vacation days or a winning lottery ticket would be nice! 😜 #CollaborationGoals
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Commentary:
"Watch out for those hungry suitors, ladies! 🍔🕵️‍♂️ They're not after your heart, they're after your snacks! 🍪😆 Stay alert and keep your pantry safe from snack-stealing dates! 😂 #RelationshipAdvice"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone worked smarter not harder… straight into some legal trouble! 😅💼 Better call Saul, or better yet, maybe a lawyer who isn't fictional! 🕵️‍♂️⚖️"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Commentary:
"Brilliant idea! Nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to spice up a salary negotiation! 💸😂 Just remember to wink and chuckle for extra impact! 😉 #NegotiationSkills"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Commentary:
🔘 The "elevator express" button, also known as the mythical unicorn of the modern world. Pressing it multiple times might summon a magic carpet or teleportation device…or simply annoy your fellow passengers! Choose wisely! 🌟🛒 #ElevatorMagic #PushForSpeed
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Commentary:
"Remember folks, helmets are great for protecting your head from both physical dangers and political debates! 🤷‍♂️🤣 Better safe than sorry, right? Stay safe out there, both in action and conversation! 🪖🗣️"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Commentary:
"Well, at least 'The Walking Dead' taught us a practical survival tip: when the zombies come knocking, don't worry about the expiration date on those canned beans 🧟‍♂️🥫 Just pray they're still edible and won't turn you into a member of the undead pantry patrol! 😂 #ApocalypseDining"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Commentary:
Well, it seems like you're looking for a health shortcut without all the hard work, eh? 🤔 Sorry to break it to you, but the old "take a magic pill and call me in the morning" routine isn't quite cutting it anymore! 🚫💊 How about we start with some baby steps? Maybe swap out that soda for some water, and perhaps take a walk around the block instead of Netflix-binging all weekend long? 🥤🚶
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Commentary:
"Therapist of the Year award goes to… *drumroll*… Me! 🏆💤 Who needs therapy when you can just nap your problems away, am I right?! 😂 #NapTherapy"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the past, always trying to slide back into your DMs like an old ex! 📞🚫 Don't give in – that book has been read cover to cover, dear past! 📖😄 Let's stay focused on the NOW and the NEXT chapter! 🚀🔮 #MovingForward"