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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Making waves on Telegram:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Going viral on Pinterest:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Shared recently on Threads:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Live now on Reddit:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Making waves on Reddit:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

21 Funny Amazon quotes

Funny Amazon quotes are here to add a touch of humor to your online shopping adventures! 📦😂 From chuckling about those impulse buys to witty remarks about the endless delivery boxes, these quotes capture the fun side of your e-commerce escapades. Dive in and enjoy a good laugh as you scroll through your favorite online marketplace! 😄🛒

New funny Amazon quotes 👇

For even more funny Amazon quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Amazon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

11 shares on Discord this month:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Breaking via Twitch:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Just landed via X:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Spotted on Facebook:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Trending via YouTube:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Seen just now on X:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Seen just now on X:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

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