14 Funny Amazon quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

  Commentary:
  "Can't wait to see my phone's travel vlog before it becomes my personal spy! #ItKnowsTooMuch"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: “I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

  Commentary:
  "Next, I'm planning a heart-to-heart with my toaster—heard it gives bread-st advice! "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: “American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

  Commentary:
  "Waiting for the plot twist where the American Pope is also a crime-fighting detective! "

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

  Commentary:
  We all know the struggle of trying to resist the tempting call of Amazon Prime! Who needs food and shelter when you can have another package delivered, right? #RetailTherapy #ByeByeSavings

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

  Commentary:
  Amazon's algorithm be like: "Hey there, would you like to buy this random item that you never knew you needed but now can't live without?" Resistance is futile, embrace the temptation!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

  Commentary:
  "Amazon should definitely introduce a 'drunk-shopping detector' to save us from regrettable purchases made under the influence. Because let's face it, no one needs a life-size inflatable unicorn at 3 am after a few too many drinks!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

  Commentary:
  "Who says you can't buy yourself some clever problem-solving skills? #EfficiencyGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

  Commentary:
  "Someone please create a 'Prime Time Intervention' plugin to save us from drunk shopping sprees on Amazon! #ShopSober #DontDrinkAndPrime"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

  Commentary:
  "Move over, Santa! Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! #NewAgeSanta"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old struggle between slicing through life's challenges like a badass superhero and trying not to accidentally shred your Amazon package At least Wolverine never had to worry about misplacing his scissors!"

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