16 Funny Amazon quotes

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  6 days ago

  Share →: I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

  Commentary:
  That's the kind of free time I dream of—next stop, reviewing socks and dustpans! 😂🧺📦

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's preparing for the ultimate online shopping spree! 🛒💸 #Goals

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

  Commentary:
  "Can't wait to see my phone's travel vlog before it becomes my personal spy! 📱🕵️‍♂️🚚 #ItKnowsTooMuch"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: “I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

  Commentary:
  "Next, I'm planning a heart-to-heart with my toaster—heard it gives bread-st advice! 🥯🤖😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: “American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

  Commentary:
  "Waiting for the plot twist where the American Pope is also a crime-fighting detective! 😂📺✝️"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

  Commentary:
  🤣💸 We all know the struggle of trying to resist the tempting call of Amazon Prime! Who needs food and shelter when you can have another package delivered, right? #RetailTherapy #ByeByeSavings

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

  Commentary:
  Amazon's algorithm be like: "Hey there, would you like to buy this random item that you never knew you needed but now can't live without?" 🤖💸 Resistance is futile, embrace the temptation!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

  Commentary:
  "Amazon should definitely introduce a 'drunk-shopping detector' to save us from regrettable purchases made under the influence. Because let's face it, no one needs a life-size inflatable unicorn at 3 am after a few too many drinks!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

  Commentary:
  "Who says you can't buy yourself some clever problem-solving skills? 😂☔️ #EfficiencyGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

  Commentary:
  "Someone please create a 'Prime Time Intervention' plugin to save us from drunk shopping sprees on Amazon! 🛑🥴 #ShopSober #DontDrinkAndPrime"

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