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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,961

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Making waves on Messenger:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Just shared via X:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Home » Funny Amazon Quotes

20 Funny Amazon quotes

Funny Amazon quotes are here to add a touch of humor to your online shopping adventures! 📦😂 From chuckling about those impulse buys to witty remarks about the endless delivery boxes, these quotes capture the fun side of your e-commerce escapades. Dive in and enjoy a good laugh as you scroll through your favorite online marketplace! 😄🛒

New funny Amazon quotes 👇

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

0

3 weeks ago

Amazon, cart, confirmation, confirmation email, delay, delivery, email, expectation, expectation vs reality, humor, just, kidding, lol, online, online shopping, order, reality, shipping, shipping delay, shopping, today, tomorrow, vs, week
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, anything, delivery, driver, humor, knock, misunderstanding, morning, ok, order, sure, us, wife, yesterday
Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

0

2 months ago

accidentally, Amazon, buy, ever, impulse, impulse buy, money, online, online shopping, order, shopping, stress
I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, Amazon review, free, free time, humor, i, irony, leisure, online, online shopping, positive, positive review, productivity, rake, review, sarcasm, shopping, someone, time, wish
My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, cart, dollars, humor, humor quote, million, money, online, online shopping, procrastination, savings, shopping, spending
My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, before, being, day, delivery, digital, five, humor, i, means, mine, new, phone, privacy, sarcasm, surveillance, technology, track, tracking
“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, asked, ChatGPT, communication, confiding, corporate, exxon, Exxon Mobil, humor, humor communication, humor relationship, i, inside, inside joke, irony, joke, McDonald’s, mobil, relationship
“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, Amazon Prime, American, culture, entertainment, humor, ignore, media, name, original, parody, pop, pop culture, Pope, prime, satire, series, sery, sounds, wordplay
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

0

2 months ago

advice, Amazon, anything, consumerism, hear, humor, i, know, need, needs, procrastination, retail, self-care, shopping, today
I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, finding, humor, i, irony, online, preferences, shopping, stop, technology, things, wish

For even more funny Amazon quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Amazon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Reddit this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For whom the doom scrolls!

33 shares on Discord this month:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

90 shares on X this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

86 shares on Slack this month:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,002

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Just landed via TikTok:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Going bananas on X:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Going viral on X:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Just shared via Slack:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

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