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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

50 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Live now on Discord:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Shared recently on X:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Live now on Slack:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Spotted on Discord:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Trending via TikTok:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Making waves on Slack:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Broadcasted on Threads:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Making waves on WeChat:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Home » Funny Assumptions Quotes

Funny assumptions quotes

New funny assumptions quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Commentary:
"Seriously, autocorrect often assumes way too much! 🤔😂 Maybe it's time for autoassume to step up and take responsibility for all those embarrassing text messages! 🙈🔤 #AutocorrectFail"
6 months ago
Share →: You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wonderful world of assumptions – where we become expert storytellers about people we barely know! 🤔💭 Remember, just because you've crafted a masterpiece in your mind, doesn't make it true! 🎭😄"

For even more funny assumptions quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny assumptions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

50 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just landed via Discord:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Seen just now on Telegram:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Going viral on Telegram:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Just shared via Threads:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Trending via Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Making waves on WeChat:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

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