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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Trending via Reddit:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Spotted on X:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Live now on Messenger:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

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Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Threads this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

51 shares on Threads this month:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

98 shares on X this month:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Just shared via X:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Just shared via Discord:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Seen just now on Messenger:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Breaking via Slack:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Going viral on Messenger:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

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Funny awarenes quotes

New funny awarenes quotes 👇

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

All funny awarenes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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