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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Just shared via Threads:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Going viral on Facebook:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Reported on Reddit:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Freshly posted on X:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Going viral on Slack:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Spotted on Instagram:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Breaking via Snapchat:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Just landed via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Reported on LinkedIn:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

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