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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Just shared via Discord:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Just shared via Threads:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Going viral on Discord:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Making waves on TikTok:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Shared recently on Threads:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Making waves on WeChat:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Spotted on Facebook:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Shared recently on Discord:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

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