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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2444 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,606

Funny Quotes Topics

15,275

Funny Quotes Images

12,606

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Going viral on Messenger:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Live now on Messenger:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Going viral on TikTok:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Making waves on Messenger:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Trending via Messenger:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2444 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,606

Funny Quotes Topics

15,275

Funny Quotes Images

12,606

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Trending via X:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Going viral on Telegram:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Making waves on Slack:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Just shared via WeChat:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

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