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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Shared recently on Discord:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Shared recently on Discord:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Freshly posted on Threads:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Trending via Messenger:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Trending via YouTube:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Spotted on Threads:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Breaking via Twitch:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Making waves on Messenger:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Spotted on Instagram:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Trending via Messenger:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Just landed via Twitch:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

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