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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Going viral on Threads:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Just landed via Slack:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Going bananas on Messenger:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Making waves on Facebook:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Funny butt quotes

Funny butt quotes 🍑 are the perfect way to add some cheeky humor to your day! Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a giggle with friends, these witty lines bring laughter and sass in equal measure. Get ready to embrace the playful side of life with jokes that celebrate everyone’s favorite behind! 😂🔥 #ButtHumor #LaughOutLoud

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New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop dating if you have no car.

73 shares on Discord this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Trending via Threads:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Making waves on Messenger:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Making waves on Discord:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

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